Thursday, 9 June 2011

HOME SWEET HOME TURNED into ASHES

our Ancestral House before the fire
I was alone in my room reading my books at the same time listening to the radio when the voice of Barbara Streisand struck on my ear when she sang the song “Memory”.  The phrase that makes me smile and makes me cry is that when it says “Memory all alone in the moonlight I can smile with the old days I was beautiful then, I remember the time I knew what happiness was let the memory live again”. Mixed emotion is what I felt on that specific time and the only thing that makes me realized is that the tears run to my cheeks. I know its Gods plans even though mans fault. It’s nearly a year since that tragic and horrifying raging fire caught our lovely house into ashes in less than 20 minutes.

during the fire
It was Saturday, July 24, 2010 at 7:00 o’clock in the evening when I received a text message from a close friend of mine telling me that there is a big fire that occurred near our house. The fire was horrendous but she will give update from time to time. I was really upset at the same time praying that to keep away my family and our ancestral house from the tragedy. The next text message sent to me was “please calm yourself for I know it is difficult to accept it, the fire was next to your house”.  I was working at that time doing my late shift, fortunate enough that I’ve finished giving medication to my patient. I run away crying get my mobile and started dialing my mother, father and sister-in-law's number to no avail. My hands were shaking because I do not know whom I am going to call. I keep dialing their numbers then lucky enough that after ten minutes of waiting at somebody to answer my call my father was on the other line in a calm tone but I know deep inside he was crying in pain and agony. I could not breathe and I cried and cried and I asked what happened. My father told me that the raging fire started at the back house due to a query faulty wiring. My father evens told me that there is nothing we can do, control yourself, and do not spare your tears with the things that have gone away for there is nothing we could do. He seems so calm but deep inside his heart is bleeding profusely but if he will  not be strong what will happened then, damage was already been done.

another scenery
At that time of the accident my mother was ready for bed for it is Sunday the following day so she went to sleep early to be ready on the following day. God is still with us since she turned off the air conditioned in the room which enables her to hear the noise outside when people was shouting for fire. My father was downstairs reading whiles my nieces and nephews were watching television in the dining area. They were six in the house when the worst tragedy in our life happened.

According to the people who keep me posted of the accident, my mother is really in shock just embracing the image of the Virgin Mary on her hand and keeps shouting and tends to run to our house. Our neighbors grab my mother preventing her not to go inside our burning house. She was only left with her night clothes and underwear. All the important documents and some jewelry were burned. My nephews collected couple of their clothes. My father was having what he was wearing on that day including the mobile on his pocket. Our good neighbors able to remove the multicab and the motorcycle as well as collect our sofa set, television, dining table, some chairs and the big family canvas frame that only reminds us of what we have all through those years.

The tears that run through my cheeks denote pain.  Pain for the memories that we built and cherish on that once adorable house vanishes just like a wind.  Pain for the showed efforts, sweats, and sacrifices my parents undergo to have that house. The house where I originally born and whom we categorized as our ancestral house. The house that stood there for 37 lovely and a fruitful year that was not been touch with any calamities but good for shelter. The house wherein family reunions were held and we called a home.

hours after the fire
It is very painful to think that very sad day in our life wherein everything that we have was being taken away. I do not know why it happened like that but the only thing that makes me sure is that God is still with us for no life was been wasted on that night. I have been asked on hundreds of times in my life why God allows tragedy and suffering. I have to confess that I really do not know the answer totally, even to my own satisfaction.

Some comforting and encouraging messages from my friends enable me to accept slowly the reality:
•Just hold on and pray, God will not give you trial which you cannot make it.
•This is God’s plan…sometimes we have to undergo all these to have what we desire. Be Strong and have the faith. Talk to God and ask for his guidance to lead you to the right thing that you have to do.
•Let it all out and try to express your emotions, sometimes we just need to set back and let it go…
•God has its plan for all us, you’re not alone, I am sure millions of others even myself had endured what you are going through. Tomorrow will be a better day for you. Take care and God Bless.
•Each one of us has its own CROSS to carry…have FAITH, be STRONG and DO THE RIGHT THING. In doing so, just remember you CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE…you will be hurt…just be READY and most of all you have to KNOW YOURSELF WELL, because NO MATTER what they say it WON’T MOVE YOU and INCH… I miss you!!!
•I am so sorry to hear this. Our hearts and prayer go out to you and your family and those who were victims of such horrendous devastation. I know that there're no amount of words can comfort you, nor them but I believe God can and His loving and compassionate hand to touch each of you…I want you to know that you are very much thought of…God Bless…(tight hug!!)…
•I was so desperately sorry to hear about and see the photos of your family home.  I hope everyone is doing ok and rebuilding their lives the best they can. My thoughts are with your entire family
•Heavenly Father, look upon our loved ones, affected with this conflagration in our home place, in this time of need, and have mercy on them. Help them to rebuild their lives. Protect them, and help them to live for You. Father, we ask this blessing through Christ our Lord. Amen. Our Lady of Consolacion, console and pray for us…
•Everything is over it's a new start and more challenge to come...let His shine through...the happiest people in the world is not those who have problems but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect...God Bless Your Heart…
•That is what matters, loved ones are all safe...
•So sorry to hear about what happened…thank God everyone in your family is safe and that is what matters most…I’ll be praying for you and your family…just hang in there, hope for the best and pray for guidance and strength…GOD BLESS…
•Hope all is well. Glad your family is safe. God Bless!
•That is what I’ve told you, it made us sad but just think that it's only material thing ok? ‘What matters most is that they are all safe...I know He will provide everything and he will never leave us empty...Lets continue praying...cheer up!!
•I am sorry to hear about it. I know it’s difficult to start all over again. But try to think the positive side, that the rest of your family members are safe.
•Life must go on...continue praying!
•Sorry to hear about it. And thank God so much that they are ok. Continue praying and keep the faith burning. A tragedy happened but you can see how good God is that none of your family members got hurts... Godspeed!
•Continue praying: I know it’s not easy for you to move on but you have too...God Bless your heart.
•Lord hear us our prayer....We are praying that your family is always safe whatever trials may come.
•Just take it easy, will just need to pray always for more guidance and strength for us and to our family...
•I am sorry to hear about what happened. The good news is all of them are safe and sound.
•You and your family is in our prayers... there is always sunshine after the rain...hold on to HIS promise...
•Time heals all wounds, they say...just HOLD ON and never let go...cast all your burdens to HIM...you’re not alone, there are people out there whose problems were worse than your problem...God gives us trials not because he wants us to stumble but He gave us these trials because He knows we can handle it if we just have the FAITH... the important is, no lives been spared...and there is always HOPE...
•Never give up!! Trust in the Lord! I lighted candles for you to make you stronger and for your family back home. God bless,
•Sorry to hear that, well pray for you and your family for strength ... Well get n touch, you take care while am very sure our LORD has been protecting them, too
•Consider the blessing that they are safe... Though I know it will be bit hard especially when you're in shock... keep praying that is the best weapon we can have in a battle likes this
•I hope you and your family is ok now. I had like to think that whatever that was been build up with your parents, it was not been wasted cause they have a loving daughter like you. I am sure it will be recovered slowly. Allow God to do His great plans. Take care.
•Sorry to hear this devastating news...just put yourself together in hang in there! take care GOD bless!
•So sorry to hear about your family. Be strong for them. We will pray with you
•Sorry to hear about it...everything happens for a reason… just be thankful to Him everyone is safe...take it easy, keep praying...take care, miss you.
•Sorry to hear! My thought is with you! God bless you and your parents.
•So sorry to hear such unfortunate news...God is our ultimate comfort...keep the faith.
the day after the fire "another life"
•Sorry to hear that, I know it’s hard but just hang in there, be strong...Everything will fall into place...

So many lessons I’ve learned with what happened to us. I know things happen for a reason. I have to accept, by faith, that God is sovereign, and He is a God of love and mercy and compassion in the midst of suffering. And God will not left us empty handed, if He takes away something from us He will give us something in return in another form and another way and it’s up to us to acknowledge and understand what it is. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12.

Now, I find joy in every simple thing and see beauty in every situation. I know that the secret of contentment knows how to enjoy what we have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond our reach. And when times are difficult, I always remember that no pain comes without a purpose.

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

SOMETIMES


Sometimes stars fall from the sky
Sometimes darkness overcome the light
Sometimes the sun eclipsed the moon
Sometimes you say in love there are no rules
Sometimes I disappeared in you
Sometimes you disappeared from me
And sometimes ambition bites the nail of success
And every artist is a cannibal
That every poet is a thief
And sometimes a lover is liar
That kills you on my inspiration and sing about the grief.


FOR MY PAPA

No words can ever describe you
For me all the good adjective fitted you
Nothing compares you
How lucky am I to have you.

Papa, no matter what they said
Your love shows the way I was molded
Being a person with respect and values
Makes possible to achieve my dreams.

I could remember when they narrated to me
You look after me when I was three months old
To stand as a father and mother to me
That makes me proud.

If I would be given a chance to choose my father
No seconds thoughts it would be you, Papa.
For me you are likes leaves that will not wither
Your love for me is eternity, Papa.
I am the luckiest daughter in the whole world
For I can’t be bought with the material things
But to live with the good traits that you showed
And have the courage to stand for my rights.

For giving me all the supports that I fully needed
For making me what I am now
For nurturing and looking after my children while I’m away
For all those things, I love you so much Papa.


Tuesday, 31 May 2011

FIDELITY

Being far away from your partner
Is not the reason of longing for loneliness?
Thus one is getting involved with another
It is just the way on how to discipline you.


Writing something or doing certain favor from to someone
Is just like letting someone to get closer to you
In which it is a way for them.
To make you be diverted which I reprimand before.


A reason for jealousy to the one who holds the authority
Is not a question of insanity and injustices?
Rather a question of sincerity and assurance
For the world nowadays is prone to all type of temptation.

My Favorite and Unforgettable Summer Holiday


When I was still a child I counted the days when the school is over so that I could have more time to go for swimming, playing outside the house with friends and to attend for  summer Catechism held in the Church which is usually the routine practice in our town. Really it was very exciting, lots of funs and adventure. I think it was really fantastic to live with the flow of life and enjoy with it as it goes.

Time moves on until I’ve reached the age of puberty then to adolescent. And finally my life changes to the fullest when I decided to enter the sanctity of marriage. My role was changed to a more mature and being responsible wife, mother, daughter and sister. But though life’s role changes but our mind still have to work, had to enjoy and makes things work for the best. Every year holiday was there and experienced but with all the holidays that we do have especially during summer time I couldn’t forget the one most wonderful and unforgettable holidays that I do have spend with my family. That holiday was been categorized as my most favorite summer holiday.

Since I was born in warm country thus we decided to spend our holiday back home, the Philippines. The climate is warm and very beautiful. Honestly nothing can compare the life back home. Home sweet home is what we usually called after landing to the airport of destination. Time travel to fast and we don’t want to leave the days that we didn’t have anything to do. What a hectic schedule we have.
"Tops"
On the very first day after our arrival we attended the graduation ceremony. Then after the rites we have dinner outside with friends and after nine o’clock in the evening we went to “tops”.  “Tops” is located in Busay, Lahug, Cebu City and the site is overlooking to the city. It is the top of the mountain but restaurant can be found there. The place is cold day and the night due to its location. We stayed there for how many hours. Same normal agenda we do have, picture taking here and there. The children were enjoying running and playing all over the place. You can see the beautiful picture of Cebu City at night. Watching falling stars can visible seen.

Basilica del Sto. Nino
The following day we went for Church visiting. We’ve started in the Basilica del Sto. Niño (a 16th century Church in Cebu City which was built purportedly on the spot where the image of the Santo Niño, a sculpture depicting the Holy Child Jesus found by Spanish explorers in 1565 preserved in a burned wooden box which was left behind during the 1521 Magellan expedition. It is located in Magallanes Street, Cebu City). Then we move to Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral Church (built in 1595' and was considered the first church which was firstly built by wood, bamboo and latch. It is located in Cebu City just a few walks away from Basilica del Sto. Niño). Then move again to Carmelite Monastery (it is a convent and chapel, founded in the mid 1900’s by the Carmelites and it is located in Mabolo, Cebu City). Then we proceed to Poor Clare Monastery (it is located in Tayud, Consolacion, Cebu and an hour drive from the heart of Cebu City). The day ends watching movie in the theater.

The next day we went to visit the shrine of the miraculous Mama Mary in  Lindogon, Simala which also known as the Monastery of the Holy Eucharist. After that we headed our way back to Minglanilla, Cebu wherein the Schoenstatt Shrine was located. Then we pass the Lourdes Church in Punta Princesa, Cebu City. After retiring for the day, the last Church visit we want to go is the San Lorenzo Church in San Jose Village, Tisa, Cebu City. It was a tiresome day but very satisfying and promising.

Kawasan Falls
The following day was a day out to “Kawasan Falls” (located in Matutinao, Badian and which is deemed to be one of the most popular getaway destinations in southern Cebu. It was full of fun. We brought with us mostly the native foods that Filipinos tends to enjoy. We are walking for 20 minutes with very rocky and narrow path before we arrived to our destination. Raft riding, swimming, exploring the three waterfalls and enjoying the nights with humming of the birds and running of the waterfalls is what you can hear. Awesome experienced.

After the two nights stay we headed our way to the city but dropping to take a look the “Inambakan Falls” located in Ginatilan, Cebu. We didn’t have a full stop over for we just want to take a look with the falls since we still want to see the virgin and hidden falls in the mountain of barangay Conalum, Argao, Cebu known as “Bugasok Falls”. It was really a horrible experience to have the four wheelers cab climbed on that forested cliffs and solid rock boulders since it was not fully developed yet at that time.

Kota Beach
After a day of rest and another preparation, we headed to the Northern part of Cebu. We ride a boat for 20 minutes from Hagnaya, Cebu so that we could arrive to Sta. Fe, Bantayan, Cebu. Bantayan Islands is considered as Cebu’s fishing ground and was known for its white beaches. We stayed at “Kota Beach”, one of the resorts in Sta. Fe. We enjoyed the day swimming and exploring the other days within the area. We have a side trip to “Doong, Bantayan, Cebu” (Doong is one of the islets of Bantayan). The beach is also purely white especially in barangay Silanga. I was imagining how many years from now if the places and the beaches I’ve visited will be the same.

Then after a week staying in Bantayan, Cebu we headed back to the city. We stayed there for couple of days roaming within the city. Went to explore restaurant from restaurant to name the few such as the Golden Cowrie (mostly liked by my children due to unlimited rice), “Kumbera” (the “kaldereta” is very tender and juicy), Jo’s Inato (we like for the “sisig”), Triple A (delicious native chicken and spicy barbeque), Neo Neo, Café Laguna (nice for its “kare-kare”), Marina Seafood’s, Chikaan,  Sunburst Fried Chicken, Maxx, Gerry’s Grill , Family Choice (bottomless drink), Royal Concourse, “Abuhan” (nice “pochero”) and so many things to mention. Window shopping, gaming zone and driving lesson was been done.

Chocolate Hills
The last week of our plan we headed to Bohol (the island province of the Philippines located in the Central Visayas region and the capital is Tagbilaran City). We go there by land trip. We started in Cebu City early morning headed to Argao, Cebu then we crossed through “Ro-Ro” shipping and arrived at Loon, Bohol. From Loon, Bohol we headed to “Sagbayan Peak” (one of the tourist spot in Bohol). After, we went to Chocolate Hill wherein Bohol was noted worldwide. It is located in Carmen, Bohol. Then we went to the famous hanging bridge of Bohol  located in Sevilla, Bohol. Then we went to the floating restaurant located in Loboc, Bohol. Then after that we went to Alburquerque wherein the biggest python or known as the anaconda of Bohol stayed. (The snake measures 23 feet or 7 meters as of 2005 and weights 300 kg or 660 lbs). Then we headed to Baclayon Church, the second oldest church in the Philippines. Then before the day end we passed the Blood Compact Shrine (it is between the Spanish explorer Miguel López de Legazpi and Datu Sikatuna the chieftain of Bohol on March 16, 1565, to seal their friendship as part of the tribal tradition. This is considered as the first treaty of friendship between the Spaniards and Filipinos).

The experienced on my summer holiday is worth remembering. My whole family see and appreciate the beauty of our country wherein most of the time we could just only read and view in the books or in the internet. I was so thankful that everybody was very helpful, cooperative and more patience. Thanks to the Almighty.


Terms:
Kaldereta            - is a dish popular in the Philippines, especially in Luzon island. Its common ingredients are cuts of pork, beef or goat with tomato paste or tomato sauce with liver spread added to it.
Kare-kare            - is a Philippine stew. It is made from peanut sauce with a variety of vegetables, stewed oxtail, beef, and occasionally offal or tripe. Meat variants may include goat meat or (rarely) chicken. It is often eaten with bagoong (shrimp paste), sometimes spiced with chili, and sprinkled with calamansi juice. Traditionally, any Filipino fiesta (particularly in Pampanga region) is not complete without kare-kare. In some Filipino-American versions of the dish, oxtail is exclusively used as the meat.
Pochero               - a Filipino Stew similar to that of “Nilaga” (commonly known as boiled beef). This dish is complimented by the sweetness of the “Saba (Cavendish banana) and a unique sour blend is brought-in by the tomato sauce. A very enticing dish that is worth craving for; beef pochero brings out the delightful taste of our Spanish influence
Sisig                       - is a traditional Filipino method of preparing meat. The meat is diced and sautéed with onions, soy sauce, vinegar, lemon juice, jalapeños and seasoned.


YOU, ME AND OUR LOVE


Yourself was the only reason
I spoke love to you
And it was your smile
That made me sure.

Now, our alliance is like China
And that’s why I’m full of fear
That something will get broken
Which so fragile here within.

This was the first time around
That my feet touched
On this mossy love forest ground
To those places out of bound.

And when we walk on thorn
I hope we never end in turn
We should speak it out
Cause there is ways to meet.

When sometimes I give you pain
And my mind starts spinning again
Then appears the changing words were taking in
It seems to be perfect seems to win.

And I know the time
To start changing my mind
Then I know you stop to hate me
When I see you smile.

In you I saw the picture we run through
Seems to be perfect seems to be true
And all is quite forever
Especially staying together.

MISUNDERSTANDING

All are architects of hate
Working in these walls of time
Some with massive deed and great
Some with ornaments of rhyme.

Nothing useless or is low
Each thing in you is the best
And what seems but idle show
Strengthens and support the rest.

For the structure that we raise
Time is with materials filled
Our conflict of today
Are the blocks with which we build?

Keep the picture of days of art
Or burn wrought with greatest care
To satisfy each minute in your part
And for me missing the times you care.

Monday, 30 May 2011

My Children Hate Preschool


Now that my children were in the secondary level then I remember those days when in the stage of my children's life it came to their behavior that they do not want to go on preschool. Things which make me think why it happened and when in fact they were able to stop on that year after three months of schooling to the preschool. The year that my children stop going to school means a lot to me as a mother but nothing I could do for I do not want to force them for it would resulted to bad outcome when they will grow up. 

I tried to ponder things, events and classmates that might trigger them to hate to go to preschool. When I gathered the information one by one then I was able to formulate a conclusion why my children abruptly changed from very energetic and enthusiastic to go to school hated to go to school. My children who were all boys and whose age gap was just one year went to preschool together. We send them to school together because they will stay, protect and help each other which probably would lessen their feelings of inferiority or insecurity or being alone. Going together to school means having same classmate, same teacher, same schedule and same foods in the school. They look like a twin for those who doesn't knew them. They are very attentive, very interactive and well-praised in school but in one incident they hated to go back to preschool. 

One Monday morning after the flag ceremony and playground demonstration which is usually the routine in their school, my children’s behavior who is very hyper active try to tease and hit one of their classmates just because of the popsicle. Their classmates saw the incident since it happened outside their classroom. Classmates gathered around them and others shouted help thus teachers come to clear the situations. The teacher just separated them (my children and their classmate) and they just been told that their action was not acceptable. The teacher did not give any punishment towards them but they were informed that what happened would reach to their parents. The teacher called our attention thus we have to come to see the teacher on that same day so that everything will be sorted out. When everything was done we go home talked their unacceptable action and telling them not to do it again for they can have the punishment if it would happened again such as staying at home during the weekend, no swimming or any other extra-curricular activities. 

The next day my children went back to school but I’ve noticed that there is no life on their face. They are seems so quiet and restless when I took them to school. They keep asking me when I am going to fetch them which are very unusual since every day they will tell me that “Mama would you come late in fetching us to school, please” and now the phrase has changed. I thought have I heard it right or I was just having an auditory hallucination? It is very unbelievable behavior that my children possess this time. Are they feel unwell? Or is that natural for children is always noted to be unpredictable. Mother is always a mother who cannot think of answering the first question but still proceeds to the next question. 

Thus I took my children to school and leave them there and came back after couple of hours to fetch them. When on our way home I asked them what were the activities in school that day and as a routine they narrated everything to me. But in the course of the interaction between them I could see that they are not happy. The attitude and behavior that they showed to me denotes a big question mark. When everything was narrated to me the last line that they told me is about their teacher. They told me that their teacher did not even bring up the topic about the trouble the previous day. Everybody was been treated as nothing happens.

 Unfortunately the following day my children hesitate to go to school. They were crying on high pitch mark and even if I will tell them that I will give them punishment they heartily agree to take punishment. On that certain day they were marked absent from their school. I am being a mother whose heart was so fragile give time to my children to give a break hoping that everything would be on that day only. Sad to say it happens the next day then the next day until it last for a week and then to months. I was totally heartbroken about what happened. It took me time to accept it. I tried my very best to manage what happened so that I could find an alternate solution which could help my children not hate to go further schooling again. Their supposedly first year of schooling on their lives should create a positive impact but for me it makes a stigma to my children. 

After a year staying at home, my children were able to cope up hating preschool together with our guidance, perseverance and endless prayers. I was so thankful that I was able to look for alternatives even though I have to sacrifice things and spend too much. We need to move to the city so that my children could start all over again. They've been to preschool wherein they have to stay on different schools, with different set of classmate. It is very hard to my part being the one responsible in sending and fetching them at school but it needs to be done this way so that they could pursue their schooling and obtain a degree which they could boast their confidence when they need to stay on their own and making me proud as a mother and being a parent.